


Secret

by idrilhadhafang



Series: 69 More Kinks of Darkpilot [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fantasizing, M/M, Not Quite Unrequited Love, Pining, Secret Crush, fantasies, pining ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 13:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11162952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben reflects, and thinks about what could be.





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Skipping around a bit -- this is written for the prompt "Fantasies and fantasizing".

  
Ben Solo can’t help but hate Daniel Mirres.

  
It’s not just his personality that rubs Ben the wrong way (and it does), but the fact that he’s going out with Poe when he doesn’t seem to appreciate the wonderful being that Poe really is. Ben can feel it radiating from him – he likes the fact he’s dating the best pilot in the Republic. It’s the renown he wants. Poe’s jokes, Poe’s laugh, Poe’s brilliant, devastating smile, Poe’s compassion and everything – Daniel doesn’t see anything like that. He just doesn’t.

  
The fact that Poe’s dating someone like Daniel Mirres is enough to puzzle Ben.

  
It’s none of his business who Poe dates. And besides, attachment is greed, jealousy is greed, jealousy leads to the Dark Side and Ben doesn’t want that. Not now, not ever. He knows full well he’s not a good person and not a good Jedi, but he can try to be, at least.  
Perhaps even trying to be good, he fails. A bad, flawed man, that’s what he is, and a bad friend. After all, Poe seems to be doing well with Daniel.

  
Ben turns over on his side and sighs. Already, he can picture Poe looking at him the way he looks at Daniel, with amazement and glowing happiness. He can picture Poe holding him close and Ben marveling at how strong that deceptively small body is. He can picture himself at Poe’s – maybe it’ll be like in the holovids with candles all around. No wine, though. Ben’s not old enough.

  
Even if Poe didn’t have a boyfriend, would they be allowed to love? The Order seemed so split about it. You could use someone and not love them, or you could love them. Even Uncle Luke being married did nothing to clear that up.

  
He isn’t supposed to love Poe. And yet falling into a deep, troubled sleep, Ben does anyway.


End file.
